The Asphole: 11/21/06

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Blow Up Dolls

Q: Ever wonder why adult bookstores don't display fully-inflated "realistic" love dolls modeled after porn stars?

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Policemen sue Burger King over pot-burgers

Two American police officers are suing Burger King after they were served hamburgers that had been sprinkled with marijuana.

Mark Landavazo and Henry Gabaldon were in uniform and driving a marked patrol car when they stopped for a meal at a drive-through Burger King restaurant in New Mexico.

They ate about half of their burgers before they began to suspect that the meat contained an illegal drug. They used a field test to confirm the substance was marijuana and then went to a hospital for a medical check.

Sam Bregman, the officers' lawyer, said today: "It gives a whole new meaning to the word 'Whopper'. The idea that these hoodlums would put marijuana into a hamburger and therefore attempt to impair law enforcement officers trying to do their jobs is outrageous."
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Mom Beat Daughter To Death With Sledgehammer

A mother who told police she found her daughter dead in her bed has been charged with her killing, officials told KPRC Local 2.

Houston police said Najia Mohamad, 49, beat Rohina Ali, 22, to death with a sledgehammer as she slept in her apartment in the 8700 block of Gustine Lane on Saturday.

Officials said they do not know the motive for the slaying.

Mohamad was arrested at her home on Thursday without incident, police said. She is being held in the Harris County Jail, and her bond has been set at $100,000. She is scheduled to appear in court on Monday.

Child Protective Services currently has custody of Ali's 4-year-old daughter.
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Man Beats Wife to Death for Possession of Kama Sutra

A Russian man has beaten his wife to death after discovering the Kama Sutra book in their home, the Regnum news agency reported.

He incident took place in the town of Mariinsk in South Siberia. A 48-year old local resident was released from prison where he served time for beating his fife. When the man got home he discovered a Kama Sutra book in his wife’s room and suspected that the spouse was cheating on him. He started beating the woman and eventually battered her to death.

When the man saw that his wife was dead he went to his neighbor, a police pensioner and confessed in the crime.

Teacher’s aid accused of having sex with a 15-year-old boy

A former teacher’s assistant accused of having sex with a 15-year-old boy was indicted earlier this week, according to a Longview, Wash. newspaper.

Christine Marie Johanson as shown in a police mug shot.
The Daily News reported that 35-year-old Christine Marie Johanson, who worked at Hudson Park Elementary School, allegedly had a sexual relationship with a freshman at Rainier Junior/Senior High School. Further, the indictment also alleges that Johanson forced the boy to have sex with her.

She pleaded innocent Monday to 10 counts of third-degree rape, two counts of third-degree sodomy, 12 counts of second-degree sexual abuse and two counts of furnishing liquor to a minor, according to The Daily News.

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